hate-watching guy fieri
me:why would you go to a diner and get cereal?
michael:because hipsters.
My governor is better than your governor.

My governor is better than your governor.

boyfriend:what's up?
me:crocheting a uterus
boyfriend:uhhhhh that was nearly the last thing i thought you'd reply with

pilgrimunstuck replied to your post: Tonight I am going to go home and have angel hair…

Brussel sprouts? Gross.

You may leave.

a conversation that actually just happened
me:so some anonymous person sent me a link to a tumblr with pics like goatse
me:yeah... what? you've never seen that?
boyfriend:no, what?
me:you know... like... have you ever seen lemon party? or tubgirl?
me:how long have you been using the internet for?!
He’s not wrong.

He’s not wrong.